Somtimes, I believe strongly in a way, but doesn't follow it all the time.
I don't see anything wrong with that. All people go through changes, so why can't I? Not permanent changes, but just temporarily, I feel the desire to change. Something new, something I haven't tried before, something challenging, something that has a possibility to happen, something that would be opposite towards what I've presented. Because there should be adventures, some excitement in life. And although I do fear a lot, something that keep pushing me forward is that I want to feel more. No regrets, and that's what I've been reminding myself whenever a decision is to be made. It's not like I would change completely as a person. It's just something new to add to the boredom on me.
But after these thoughts, I start to think about others. How they would react if I change, if I do this. These thoughts make me hesitate, they won't really hinder me, but they still occur to me. And sometimes I really do hate it. When they say, "hey you've changed," does this mean they're unhappy that "Sigh, I don't know you anymore." People change all the time, but when I say change, I don't mean change in the way that, you abandon how you were previously, and completely change image. To me, changing is just, adding something new to what you've been. The old you are still there, but then there's something different added on top. Just adding some new sparks to life, why bother? And if that person is a really close friend of yours, you should really accept whatever they've become. Isn't this what a friend should do.
These thoughts frustrate me. The thought of change, and the pressure it would need to withstand.
The old me didn't disappear, but it has been renewed. And something that will never change, is that i will always remain as your friend.
